Love Actually

Dedicated to Adam Whitehall. Cheers for the suggestion mate. And Phil. Thank fuck for Phil.

So, I've been reading the blog of a friend recently, and just been blown away. How can anyone get that naked in public? That gloriously naked. No sucking in of the gut or anything. Hats off to you Noise.

http://myfailureatmodernliving.blogspot.com/

The great thing about this great big Universe of requirement that we live in is that every heartfelt question receives an answer. And now here I am.

Why am I getting naked all of a sudden? Read on.
 

08:59 Sunday 5th September 2010

The journalists of the world all got the headline wrong on Saturday morning.

I have some really awesome things to say which I’d like to share with people in general.

What, awesome like a hotdog?


It’s like a hundred billion hotdogs sir…

Intrigued? Of course you are you marvellous human. Read on. I will not disappoint. Unless you’re in the mood to be disappointed, in which case have fun ripping me about a little. X

Frankly, the biggest news story by a country mile on Saturday, was that on Friday a couple in Portsmouth proved unequivocally that True Love is real, and it’s fucking wonderful.

Lets have that again shall we.

True Love is real, and it’s better than Princess Bride (the film anyway, which is awesome, I’ve not read the book).

True Love is real.

Very nice. What’s that got to do with me I hear you think (very keen ear for a sour note me). Ah. Because I’m a sharer. And I’m a communicator. I am a scientist and a scholar. A philosopher and a muse. I’m also really keen at code words. Check me out.

The point is. I know it’s real now. And I can see how it must be different for everyone. I can see that your love will be a precise fit for you. Not you as you are now, but you as you will be as gradually the fear and defensiveness drop away, as you stop using all your energy to defend your image, and start afresh each moment in this world of infinite possibility and play. With a whole heart.

Aw, come back! Shall I calm it down a bit? All right then.

Love.

Imagine the possibility.

It’s not all about shagging. We’re not all here to pair up. Check out Oogway from Kung fu Panda. He unravelled the mysteries of harmony and focus. That’s a tasty bit of love right there. There he was, perpetually in the moment with his heart open and with all the fine balance of life revealed to him. But there was no Mrs Oogway to shine his shell.

He seemed groovy with it.

Let me tell you about my sister M. 28 years old and she figured this stuff out years ago. She fell in love with the world, and for her that was enough. And if you’ve ever met Michelle you will know precisely what I mean. She dances with everyone she meets and lifts all who come close. Including miserable head-sunk me on so so many occasions.

Personally, I need a Phil. And more than that I want a Phil. I want someone to play with. Fuck propriety. Together we will create a new world order. And best of all, it’s going to be laughably easy. All we have to do is play together, and keep going into the world to share our happiness with all the people we love.

And yet I am still me (yeah love has opened my eyes to wonder and truth, but I’m still a bit on the clumsy side - funnily enough it's just as well, mistakes breed evolution, plus it's fucking funny, and humour is the highest form of expression).

I'm still me, and the good thing about me is I have always loved to simplify and share. And when I throw a party everyone is invited. Even the spiders.

So let me hand you a mental tool which you may use as you wish. I will fashion it now in your mind with technology more precise and refined at carving out instruments than scientists could ever dream to craft. With words and imagination I will give you a neat gadget to play with in your universe. The one you are lord and master of. The one in your head.

Deep trust I call it. I trust Phil. I trust him with the whole of my heart. And what’s more I trust myself with the whole of his heart. I will never knowingly hurt him.  He has complete acceptance in me.  Go forth and be yourself you fine man.

But I now also have a Deep trust in the unfolding of the world. So whenever I feel threatened or nervous I remind myself of deep trust and I let go. I untie myself from the future and allow the present. Which means I’m not then adding any further agitated unpleasantness to the mix of whatever is happening. Or at least not much. I ain’t perfect.

What does God want from us? If God there be. Same as any child. See me, hear me, love me, understand me, grant me the freedom to be myself, play with me, let me go, let me return.

If God is in all things – and I’ve been thinking about it and even True fucking Love is not enough evidence that God is real, you just can’t prove it empirically, not that I won’t keep teasing away at it - but if God is in all things then you best please God by living fully in the moment. Dancing with all that come before you and lifting any who come near.

And you already have everything you need. You’ve just got to admit that if you wanted to you could stop hiding it and start sharing it. What do you have? I don’t know. But if you fancy what might well prove to be an enlightening response from a loved-up lady. Get in touch. I’m here to play and to share with everyone. It’s the most natural impulse I have.

Maybe this is the start of a beautiful place where we can share our hopes and triumphs and all those times we have decided to be brave and go forth and get the shit kicked out of us by love.

You have the potential to know true love and walk true love, you just need to figure out what really fucking does it for you and ask for it.

Of course this ain’t news to everyone. But it was news to me. And now I want to share it.  I can't not.  Seriously, ask my work colleagues.  Ask the random selection of the good people of Chelsea and Shoreditch whom I was scaring the shit out of on Monday.

I trust pain.
It brought me here.
Where all is forgiven and understood.

If there’s something you need, anything. Just ask for it with an open heart. Be sensible though. Cos you might just get what you ask for. And nobody actually wants the moon. Where would you put it?

x

P.S. Fucking loving listening to Station Approach by Elbow

I don't know what I want but I know when I'm low that I, I need to be in a town where they know what I'm like and don't mind.

Elbow - Station Approach (UTube)


And Dry the Rain by the Beta Band (that one off of High Fidelity)

If there's something inside that you want to say, let it all out it will be OK.  I will be your light, I will be your light, I will be your light, I will be your light.

High Fidelity - scene with Beta Band song Dry the Rain (UTube)



xx

P.P.S If I've quoted either of the above entirely accurately I'd be really fucking surprised.  But they're basically right.  Them's the words scratched into my heart right now.

xxx

TP