I've fucking done it.
No one finds their true love, God, and mysteriously the means by which to stay in the house of the dreams in a mere fortnight eh? They do now.
And I'm gonna share it babies. Woosh! here we go.
And the fucking fab thing is that 2 weeks ago it wasn't true. I always had a vision of what I wanted but I've let it evolve with me recently. I've allowed myself to be wrong. Gloriously wrong for all to see. I've allowed the possibility that I might not get my way. Really knuckled down and looked it in the eye.
And the result is that I am right.
And I get it all.
The whole beautiful vision in the Big Number 2 is going to come true.
Play time babies.
Now who has a funny story of sommat that's actually happened which happened to you or you heard about directly via the old 6 degrees?
I'll start shall I?
So, my son Benjy's bezzie mate Flynn's dad's mate's missus (as all the best stories begin) was asked to look after a dog by a couple of mates. The dog was well old.
Oh man, she thought, I just know this dogs gonna carck it while I've got it.
Sho enough. The dog dies.
Oh man.
So she had to get this dead dog to the vets so they'd dispose of the body, but she didn't have a car or much money and it turns out they'll charge you for coming to pick up dead animals if they have to send an ambulance to do it.
So she came up with the genius idea of putting the dog in a big silver DJ case and taking it on the train.
She's at the train station. No lift. She has to drag the case up the stairs.
So she's huffing and puffing her way up the stairs with this case when a guy comes up to her.
Are you alright there love?
Um.
What's in the case.
Er. Well. It's... my husbands DJ equipment.
Do you want a hand?
Really? Oh thank you!
So he takes the case. And he runs off with it.
x
TP
Saturday, 11 September 2010
Cracked it! For the time being.
6:02 11th September 2010.
Black chair. Blue room. Listening to the Bison festival's version of Jolene. (Leave him love).
The truth is you will lead the life you let yourself lead. So it's well worth working your shit out as and when it arises. If you let yourself get weighed down with worry that you don't deserve your life then you leave it unsupported. Go talk to someone who loves you and work that stuff out.
People get lost in the pretty patterns of synchronicity and in the heady rush of power play.
These are the eddies which swirl around the main potential.
God gave the world to us.
We transform it's energy with our thoughts and our actons, for good or for ill. We really do. IT'S OURS. Let's party like mum n' dad have gone away. Make sure we get the place ship shape for when the kids get up tho yeah?
I'm going to have so much fun with this life!
And I'll offer what I can to anyone who asks.
And, you know, do stuff for the kids. Cos the kids are awesome. If you want to be proper cheered up, go tell a child that they can do anything they like with their life (true) and then ask them what they want to do.
My 5 year old son says he's bringing back the dinosaurs, and he's gonna start with robots.
Can't wait!
x
TP
Black chair. Blue room. Listening to the Bison festival's version of Jolene. (Leave him love).
The truth is you will lead the life you let yourself lead. So it's well worth working your shit out as and when it arises. If you let yourself get weighed down with worry that you don't deserve your life then you leave it unsupported. Go talk to someone who loves you and work that stuff out.
People get lost in the pretty patterns of synchronicity and in the heady rush of power play.
These are the eddies which swirl around the main potential.
God gave the world to us.
We transform it's energy with our thoughts and our actons, for good or for ill. We really do. IT'S OURS. Let's party like mum n' dad have gone away. Make sure we get the place ship shape for when the kids get up tho yeah?
I'm going to have so much fun with this life!
And I'll offer what I can to anyone who asks.
And, you know, do stuff for the kids. Cos the kids are awesome. If you want to be proper cheered up, go tell a child that they can do anything they like with their life (true) and then ask them what they want to do.
My 5 year old son says he's bringing back the dinosaurs, and he's gonna start with robots.
Can't wait!
x
TP
rah!
3.30am ish. Fold out bed in the blue room. Listening to Elbow.
Who knew? Turns out the following formula:
Truth + Understanding = Love
has an unexpected accumulative result.
If you square the above by time, and reassess both the Truth and the Understanding each time confusion starts to wear in, in the beautiful way King Richard taught me in Yoga. Just ease in. Stop and breath if you have to and just see how it feels for you. And then have another go. Test it. Try it. Ease in. See how it feels. Breath through it. Beautiful King Richard!
If you spend your morning outside a coffee shop talking to whomever you please, on the phone or in person, just for the fun of it because the lady you were meant to meet didn't turn up. And you wonder what the conversation would have been like, because she has a deeply held belief in Christianity, and you are basically completely feckless and whilst feeling deeply spiritual right now have always felt slightly icky about the idea of owning to a God.
If you gave your love "Life and How to Survive it" as the book which has influenced you more then any other in your life, and he (heathen that he is) sent you "Conversations with God" and you've gotten to about page 10.
If it dawns on you on the way to work that there are no fractures. No deep crevasses of the mind to fall down and be lost forever, because it's all just channels of love. Information intended for you. Not pain intended for you to whip yourself with ad infinitum. Just a message.
If you're listening to Elbow's "The Loneliness of the Tower Crane Driver" for the nth time, because you just fucking love it. And the more you listen the more it's like someone painted your soul for you.
Tower Crane Driver.
Send up a prayer in my name.
TLOTTCD - Elbow (UTube)
If you're at the end of a beautiful 2 week voyage of discovery where you've broken every social nicety you cared to, in the office yet, but done it with enough honesty and passion that the world lets you get on with it, until it's time for you to move to the next level.
If you open your ears and your heart to the information swirling around you at every moment. And at that moment where you want to go "yeah, but" you just shut up and listen. And you do it with all of you because you want to be a bare (naked) witness (as opposed to a bear witness - Grrrrowl) to the darkness - be it yours or someone else's. And it just so happens you're talking to a wonderfully simple, compassionate, intelligent, and honest person. Who happens to be your Ops manager at work.
If you try to log onto your blog in the common room at work and at it looks like your grand opus from the previous night, along with everything else on your blog has been deleted! And you're a bit freaked. But you kind of have this deep trust thing going on.
You ride with the darkness and the fear. And you think, I always did prefer sharing with people one on one then playing to a grand audience.
And if it's gone then what next. Could be good. Let's see.
If you spend your lunch hour with an open mind, and have a lovely time at the French market, and then go to the stairs by the car park, and decide to send out honest apologies to anyone you can see you have harmed without intending to. And you call your dad just in time to be a bare witness to an argument you caused with a particularly brash piece of thoughtlessness just days before which had looked so like bravery at the time, between him and your brother. And you shut up and just listen.
Well there really is only one inevitable conclusion.
You may well be siting in your chair at work experimenting with "baring witness" to a particularly complex issue. And you may pause to follow a chain of reasoning which requires particular thought - which you do quite a bit if your job is figuring out WTF happened, as mine is.
And you may find God.
And you swap music tips with someone at work. And your voice has an oddly clear bell tone to it.
And you might find yourself collecting rubbish on the way back to your car. And when you have a handful you find a paper bag. And when the paper bag is full you find a wallet. Which you try to hand in, but the nearest police station is shut. So you head back to your car collecting more rubbish and find a plastic bag, which all the rubbish on the way to your car neatly fills to the top. All the while listening to your Ipod.
Whole world around me (I'd always heard this as "Oh Romniberta" before yesterday. True story :) ), came to fall, I'm not worried at all. Cos I'm not able, he taught me to see. He taught me to pray just for me.
I'm not worried at all - Moby (UTube)
And you drive to your home town, and as you drive, which you fucking love to do, you realise you are having a conversation with God. And you think, Fucking hell Phil. IF I'da known that loving you with all my heart would have religious implications...? And you laugh to yourself - which you're doing a lot lately, cos life is pretty fucking funny after all.
And you think, how in the world am I going to explain this one to Phil?
And you completely drive past your local police station, so you double back. And there's no one there, but they have a deep postbox, so in the wallet goes. And back in your car you decide not to swing round the roundabout, but go the long way home. And fuck me it's a beautiful drive. Look at the trees! I didn't know there was a farm there! Fucking rolling fields no less!!! This close to where I live, no Way!
And it feels like your soul has been healed. Which is lovely, because it means you'll be able to get out there and play with all those beautiful people forever more. No more hiding in darkness.
And when you get home your brother calls cos something was bothering him, and when you end the call a whole lot less is bothering him than before. In fact he feels lifted.
And you call the lady from earlier, whose child is unwell. And you laugh at yourselves for not exchanging mobile numbers.
And it turns out when you call your love from the stoop of the shed under the beach tree in your back garden that you are on exactly the same fucking page with this whole God thing, but with slightly different info. And the harmonies are profoundly beautiful.
And you realise there really is more to this power we have then making sure you always get a good parking space. In fact you're probably gonna get out there and do something nice with your life. For the children.
Well, just "rah!" really.
And your ex isn't impressed at all. In fact he says. and not for the first time, that he's deeply concerned for your mental well being. And he's barely cracked a smile for 2 weeks. And he's looking forward to me telling him on Sunday that I really don't know how I'll afford to stay in my beautiful house. If I had another month perhaps, but trying to do it in the week he gave me will probably beat me.
And after putting your son to bed you eat some sweets and play on the Internet. And it turns out your blog is just fine. And you try and get your head down but something is really bothering you. So you call your love, because he said he's got your back. And gradually the knots loosens and the life returns to your heart.
I see my love again for the third time in 5 and a half hours. He's coming up on the train and we're gonna spend the day jamming with friends and family and grooving deeply off of one another.
And I need to have a word with someone I love dearly. Because it's no kindness to let someone get away with being a miserable fuck and a bully.
And so the love flows.
*Simples*
P.S.
29/09/10 Seems I was still wrong about those Moby lyrics.
All round me burdens
Apparently...
Who knew? Turns out the following formula:
Truth + Understanding = Love
has an unexpected accumulative result.
If you square the above by time, and reassess both the Truth and the Understanding each time confusion starts to wear in, in the beautiful way King Richard taught me in Yoga. Just ease in. Stop and breath if you have to and just see how it feels for you. And then have another go. Test it. Try it. Ease in. See how it feels. Breath through it. Beautiful King Richard!
If you spend your morning outside a coffee shop talking to whomever you please, on the phone or in person, just for the fun of it because the lady you were meant to meet didn't turn up. And you wonder what the conversation would have been like, because she has a deeply held belief in Christianity, and you are basically completely feckless and whilst feeling deeply spiritual right now have always felt slightly icky about the idea of owning to a God.
If you gave your love "Life and How to Survive it" as the book which has influenced you more then any other in your life, and he (heathen that he is) sent you "Conversations with God" and you've gotten to about page 10.
If it dawns on you on the way to work that there are no fractures. No deep crevasses of the mind to fall down and be lost forever, because it's all just channels of love. Information intended for you. Not pain intended for you to whip yourself with ad infinitum. Just a message.
If you're listening to Elbow's "The Loneliness of the Tower Crane Driver" for the nth time, because you just fucking love it. And the more you listen the more it's like someone painted your soul for you.
Tower Crane Driver.
Send up a prayer in my name.
TLOTTCD - Elbow (UTube)
If you're at the end of a beautiful 2 week voyage of discovery where you've broken every social nicety you cared to, in the office yet, but done it with enough honesty and passion that the world lets you get on with it, until it's time for you to move to the next level.
If you open your ears and your heart to the information swirling around you at every moment. And at that moment where you want to go "yeah, but" you just shut up and listen. And you do it with all of you because you want to be a bare (naked) witness (as opposed to a bear witness - Grrrrowl) to the darkness - be it yours or someone else's. And it just so happens you're talking to a wonderfully simple, compassionate, intelligent, and honest person. Who happens to be your Ops manager at work.
If you try to log onto your blog in the common room at work and at it looks like your grand opus from the previous night, along with everything else on your blog has been deleted! And you're a bit freaked. But you kind of have this deep trust thing going on.
You ride with the darkness and the fear. And you think, I always did prefer sharing with people one on one then playing to a grand audience.
And if it's gone then what next. Could be good. Let's see.
If you spend your lunch hour with an open mind, and have a lovely time at the French market, and then go to the stairs by the car park, and decide to send out honest apologies to anyone you can see you have harmed without intending to. And you call your dad just in time to be a bare witness to an argument you caused with a particularly brash piece of thoughtlessness just days before which had looked so like bravery at the time, between him and your brother. And you shut up and just listen.
Well there really is only one inevitable conclusion.
You may well be siting in your chair at work experimenting with "baring witness" to a particularly complex issue. And you may pause to follow a chain of reasoning which requires particular thought - which you do quite a bit if your job is figuring out WTF happened, as mine is.
And you may find God.
And you swap music tips with someone at work. And your voice has an oddly clear bell tone to it.
And you might find yourself collecting rubbish on the way back to your car. And when you have a handful you find a paper bag. And when the paper bag is full you find a wallet. Which you try to hand in, but the nearest police station is shut. So you head back to your car collecting more rubbish and find a plastic bag, which all the rubbish on the way to your car neatly fills to the top. All the while listening to your Ipod.
Whole world around me (I'd always heard this as "Oh Romniberta" before yesterday. True story :) ), came to fall, I'm not worried at all. Cos I'm not able, he taught me to see. He taught me to pray just for me.
I'm not worried at all - Moby (UTube)
And you drive to your home town, and as you drive, which you fucking love to do, you realise you are having a conversation with God. And you think, Fucking hell Phil. IF I'da known that loving you with all my heart would have religious implications...? And you laugh to yourself - which you're doing a lot lately, cos life is pretty fucking funny after all.
And you think, how in the world am I going to explain this one to Phil?
And you completely drive past your local police station, so you double back. And there's no one there, but they have a deep postbox, so in the wallet goes. And back in your car you decide not to swing round the roundabout, but go the long way home. And fuck me it's a beautiful drive. Look at the trees! I didn't know there was a farm there! Fucking rolling fields no less!!! This close to where I live, no Way!
And it feels like your soul has been healed. Which is lovely, because it means you'll be able to get out there and play with all those beautiful people forever more. No more hiding in darkness.
And when you get home your brother calls cos something was bothering him, and when you end the call a whole lot less is bothering him than before. In fact he feels lifted.
And you call the lady from earlier, whose child is unwell. And you laugh at yourselves for not exchanging mobile numbers.
And it turns out when you call your love from the stoop of the shed under the beach tree in your back garden that you are on exactly the same fucking page with this whole God thing, but with slightly different info. And the harmonies are profoundly beautiful.
And you realise there really is more to this power we have then making sure you always get a good parking space. In fact you're probably gonna get out there and do something nice with your life. For the children.
Well, just "rah!" really.
And your ex isn't impressed at all. In fact he says. and not for the first time, that he's deeply concerned for your mental well being. And he's barely cracked a smile for 2 weeks. And he's looking forward to me telling him on Sunday that I really don't know how I'll afford to stay in my beautiful house. If I had another month perhaps, but trying to do it in the week he gave me will probably beat me.
And after putting your son to bed you eat some sweets and play on the Internet. And it turns out your blog is just fine. And you try and get your head down but something is really bothering you. So you call your love, because he said he's got your back. And gradually the knots loosens and the life returns to your heart.
I see my love again for the third time in 5 and a half hours. He's coming up on the train and we're gonna spend the day jamming with friends and family and grooving deeply off of one another.
And I need to have a word with someone I love dearly. Because it's no kindness to let someone get away with being a miserable fuck and a bully.
And so the love flows.
*Simples*
P.S.
29/09/10 Seems I was still wrong about those Moby lyrics.
All round me burdens
Apparently...
Friday, 10 September 2010
The Big number 2
19:51 9th September 2010
I’m sitting here blissing out on Elbow’s The Seldom Seen Kid (not the first track) and thinking of my love.
Elbow (MySpace)
I’m sitting by the shed in the back garden of the house were I live. It’s one of my favourite places. Right up there with the concrete stairs to the car park behind NWS house in Purley. And the peacock blue room with the gold stars. And punte de la nava.
Right up there with the Bush Bison farm in Wiltshire.
And the driver’s seat of Cherry my battered red Peugeot.
And a little flat in Portsmouth.
And 52 (head blowing to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there).
Today I found out the secret to having it all. Awesome no?
And the best thing is I have the skills to share it. And it’s free. And once you get what I’m saying, really get it, the rest of your life is going to be fucking awesome. And mine. And everyone’s.
Some thank yous.
Thank you life. Thank you Phil, you are the sun which draws the chlorophyll from my bark. Thank you for the challenge Dave. Thank you for anchoring me in reality Benjy. Thank you for leading the way Michelle. Thank you for believing in love my crazy parents. Thank you my friends and family. Thank you my work colleagues for being nice people in general and for not having me locked up for spilling my truth to you these past couple of crazy days. Thank you everyone I’ve ever spoken to. Thank you all the brave souls who ever dared to share their truth even when their ideas seemed totally fucking unsupported by the reality in which they found themselves.
“If your aren’t in your element then you are the ambassador for it”, as a wise lady once said. She didn’t know she was wise. It just felt true. Thank you for being so very brave and strong. All totally worth it.
So without further ado, here it is.
This Universe IS one big room or requirement (ta JK, and the science and math are sound - check out Jaron Lanier's Raft to the Future). And if you want it to be awesome you just have to ask for the right things.
Here’s the question which is going to change everything.
What is your deepest Love?
Here’s the answer which is going to change everything. When the light flashes and you know, balls to bone, what your deepest love is, you just have to say yes.
And here’s the science bit my fellow meatlings.
When you ask a question, any question, a little light sparkles in your head with the answer. Then your mental secretaries set about trying to retrieve it. And you know what? They don’t rest until they get it. Whether it’s instant cos it’s an idea you’ve already pounded a path to, or whether it takes them the next 100 years. They don’t rest.
It shouldn’t take 100 years to answer this one. But if you want to speed up the process there are a few important things to note. Don’t stress it. Don’t ponder it. What you wanna do is go play. Whatever impulse lights in you as something wicked fun to go do, go do it. Fuck off and have a laugh. That way, your secretaries will be able to hear the answer cos you won’t be sitting on their shoulder barking orders. They can just get the fuck on with it.
And when they come back with the answer, sit with it awhile. Even if it frightens the very life out of you to do so. Just sit with it. But if you can’t don’t sweat it. Get up and go do the thing you have to do. Whatever it is. Could be there’s another question you have to ask. Could be you have to go out and dance with the wonderful world and get a bit more info. Some more tools to help your secretaries in their good work.
Then just lather rinse repeat until you get the desired outcome. You’ll know once you’re there because suddenly everything will be funny. You’ll feel light and wonderful. And the more you share it the better it’ll get.
You’ll probably feel pretty fucking high for a couple of weeks. The feeling will come and go as you test each truth you receive with the next question. But eventually it’ll all bed down and you’ll feel exactly like your self. Only more so. Robin Skynner will be looking down from heaven and grinning his head off.
And you’ll lift everyone you come across.
And that’s not the best of it. Imagine a world where everyone is doing this…
Brian Cox you lovely man. We’re going to go to the stars. And so much more. Love is way more powerful than lucre. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water (thank you Adorno and Horkheimer). Money is a useful tool. But that’s all it is.
I reckon we should have everyone on board by about December 21st 2012 don’t you?
Be nice to get the London Olympics under our belts before we make the leap.
Then it’ll be time for this Universe to instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. And Douglas Adams will look down upon his creation and be mightily amused.
Although what I actually think will happen is that everything will seem much as it ever did. Only more so. Unexplainably more so from here.
Thank you Graeme for mishearing me today and thinking I’d basically said that I had discovered an excel formula to answer the ultimate question of life the universe and everything. What a good idea I thought. And my mental secretaries were thrilled at the prospect of such a task.
So here it is.
Truth + Understanding = Love.
We live in a perfect world.
Why am I so clumsy? Because it’s funny. And I get to laugh at myself for the rest of my life.
And this is just the beginning. I have so much more. And I want to share with everyone. I’m only playing. Join in.
Pain is not for holding on to. It’s there to transform you. True Love doesn’t hide itself in a room. It’s transformative. It changes everything.
"What is your Deepest Fear?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.....You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world....We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us......it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others". by Marianne Williams
Thanks for this J. How awesome to hear fireworks go off in the distance when you shared this with me.
I've been living it. It's doable.
The time of the God of money is done. It’s just a tool. The God of Love is in the ascendant. Martin Luther started it. But we've done the hard work and it's time to play.
So beautiful. I had no idea. I had no idea. Sagan you ledg.
No one has the ability to see how beautiful they are. Thank you Phil. My Mirrorball.
I've heard some really funny stories in the last couple of the days. Actually wet myself. Got any good ones you care to share? Go on, tell me yours and I'll tell you the one about the dog in the bag.
x
TP
I’m sitting here blissing out on Elbow’s The Seldom Seen Kid (not the first track) and thinking of my love.
Elbow (MySpace)
I’m sitting by the shed in the back garden of the house were I live. It’s one of my favourite places. Right up there with the concrete stairs to the car park behind NWS house in Purley. And the peacock blue room with the gold stars. And punte de la nava.
Right up there with the Bush Bison farm in Wiltshire.
And the driver’s seat of Cherry my battered red Peugeot.
And a little flat in Portsmouth.
And 52 (head blowing to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there).
Today I found out the secret to having it all. Awesome no?
And the best thing is I have the skills to share it. And it’s free. And once you get what I’m saying, really get it, the rest of your life is going to be fucking awesome. And mine. And everyone’s.
Some thank yous.
Thank you life. Thank you Phil, you are the sun which draws the chlorophyll from my bark. Thank you for the challenge Dave. Thank you for anchoring me in reality Benjy. Thank you for leading the way Michelle. Thank you for believing in love my crazy parents. Thank you my friends and family. Thank you my work colleagues for being nice people in general and for not having me locked up for spilling my truth to you these past couple of crazy days. Thank you everyone I’ve ever spoken to. Thank you all the brave souls who ever dared to share their truth even when their ideas seemed totally fucking unsupported by the reality in which they found themselves.
“If your aren’t in your element then you are the ambassador for it”, as a wise lady once said. She didn’t know she was wise. It just felt true. Thank you for being so very brave and strong. All totally worth it.
So without further ado, here it is.
This Universe IS one big room or requirement (ta JK, and the science and math are sound - check out Jaron Lanier's Raft to the Future). And if you want it to be awesome you just have to ask for the right things.
Here’s the question which is going to change everything.
What is your deepest Love?
Here’s the answer which is going to change everything. When the light flashes and you know, balls to bone, what your deepest love is, you just have to say yes.
And here’s the science bit my fellow meatlings.
When you ask a question, any question, a little light sparkles in your head with the answer. Then your mental secretaries set about trying to retrieve it. And you know what? They don’t rest until they get it. Whether it’s instant cos it’s an idea you’ve already pounded a path to, or whether it takes them the next 100 years. They don’t rest.
It shouldn’t take 100 years to answer this one. But if you want to speed up the process there are a few important things to note. Don’t stress it. Don’t ponder it. What you wanna do is go play. Whatever impulse lights in you as something wicked fun to go do, go do it. Fuck off and have a laugh. That way, your secretaries will be able to hear the answer cos you won’t be sitting on their shoulder barking orders. They can just get the fuck on with it.
And when they come back with the answer, sit with it awhile. Even if it frightens the very life out of you to do so. Just sit with it. But if you can’t don’t sweat it. Get up and go do the thing you have to do. Whatever it is. Could be there’s another question you have to ask. Could be you have to go out and dance with the wonderful world and get a bit more info. Some more tools to help your secretaries in their good work.
Then just lather rinse repeat until you get the desired outcome. You’ll know once you’re there because suddenly everything will be funny. You’ll feel light and wonderful. And the more you share it the better it’ll get.
You’ll probably feel pretty fucking high for a couple of weeks. The feeling will come and go as you test each truth you receive with the next question. But eventually it’ll all bed down and you’ll feel exactly like your self. Only more so. Robin Skynner will be looking down from heaven and grinning his head off.
And you’ll lift everyone you come across.
And that’s not the best of it. Imagine a world where everyone is doing this…
Brian Cox you lovely man. We’re going to go to the stars. And so much more. Love is way more powerful than lucre. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water (thank you Adorno and Horkheimer). Money is a useful tool. But that’s all it is.
I reckon we should have everyone on board by about December 21st 2012 don’t you?
Be nice to get the London Olympics under our belts before we make the leap.
Then it’ll be time for this Universe to instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. And Douglas Adams will look down upon his creation and be mightily amused.
Although what I actually think will happen is that everything will seem much as it ever did. Only more so. Unexplainably more so from here.
Thank you Graeme for mishearing me today and thinking I’d basically said that I had discovered an excel formula to answer the ultimate question of life the universe and everything. What a good idea I thought. And my mental secretaries were thrilled at the prospect of such a task.
So here it is.
Truth + Understanding = Love.
We live in a perfect world.
Why am I so clumsy? Because it’s funny. And I get to laugh at myself for the rest of my life.
And this is just the beginning. I have so much more. And I want to share with everyone. I’m only playing. Join in.
Pain is not for holding on to. It’s there to transform you. True Love doesn’t hide itself in a room. It’s transformative. It changes everything.
"What is your Deepest Fear?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.....You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world....We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us......it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others". by Marianne Williams
Thanks for this J. How awesome to hear fireworks go off in the distance when you shared this with me.
I've been living it. It's doable.
The time of the God of money is done. It’s just a tool. The God of Love is in the ascendant. Martin Luther started it. But we've done the hard work and it's time to play.
So beautiful. I had no idea. I had no idea. Sagan you ledg.
No one has the ability to see how beautiful they are. Thank you Phil. My Mirrorball.
I've heard some really funny stories in the last couple of the days. Actually wet myself. Got any good ones you care to share? Go on, tell me yours and I'll tell you the one about the dog in the bag.
x
TP
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Blog in progress
You'll have to excuse me. I've just had the most awesome day of my life. I'm gonna have a good old play and get some words down tha'll tell you all about it.
Transcendence here we come my fellow beings of energy. That goes for the trees, computers and houses too, et fucking al.
Transcendence here we come my fellow beings of energy. That goes for the trees, computers and houses too, et fucking al.
Love Actually
Dedicated to Adam Whitehall. Cheers for the suggestion mate. And Phil. Thank fuck for Phil.
So, I've been reading the blog of a friend recently, and just been blown away. How can anyone get that naked in public? That gloriously naked. No sucking in of the gut or anything. Hats off to you Noise.
http://myfailureatmodernliving.blogspot.com/
The great thing about this great big Universe of requirement that we live in is that every heartfelt question receives an answer. And now here I am.
Why am I getting naked all of a sudden? Read on.
08:59 Sunday 5th September 2010
The journalists of the world all got the headline wrong on Saturday morning.
I have some really awesome things to say which I’d like to share with people in general.
What, awesome like a hotdog?
It’s like a hundred billion hotdogs sir…
Intrigued? Of course you are you marvellous human. Read on. I will not disappoint. Unless you’re in the mood to be disappointed, in which case have fun ripping me about a little. X
Frankly, the biggest news story by a country mile on Saturday, was that on Friday a couple in Portsmouth proved unequivocally that True Love is real, and it’s fucking wonderful.
Lets have that again shall we.
True Love is real, and it’s better than Princess Bride (the film anyway, which is awesome, I’ve not read the book).
True Love is real.
Very nice. What’s that got to do with me I hear you think (very keen ear for a sour note me). Ah. Because I’m a sharer. And I’m a communicator. I am a scientist and a scholar. A philosopher and a muse. I’m also really keen at code words. Check me out.
The point is. I know it’s real now. And I can see how it must be different for everyone. I can see that your love will be a precise fit for you. Not you as you are now, but you as you will be as gradually the fear and defensiveness drop away, as you stop using all your energy to defend your image, and start afresh each moment in this world of infinite possibility and play. With a whole heart.
Aw, come back! Shall I calm it down a bit? All right then.
Love.
Imagine the possibility.
It’s not all about shagging. We’re not all here to pair up. Check out Oogway from Kung fu Panda. He unravelled the mysteries of harmony and focus. That’s a tasty bit of love right there. There he was, perpetually in the moment with his heart open and with all the fine balance of life revealed to him. But there was no Mrs Oogway to shine his shell.
He seemed groovy with it.
Let me tell you about my sister M. 28 years old and she figured this stuff out years ago. She fell in love with the world, and for her that was enough. And if you’ve ever met Michelle you will know precisely what I mean. She dances with everyone she meets and lifts all who come close. Including miserable head-sunk me on so so many occasions.
Personally, I need a Phil. And more than that I want a Phil. I want someone to play with. Fuck propriety. Together we will create a new world order. And best of all, it’s going to be laughably easy. All we have to do is play together, and keep going into the world to share our happiness with all the people we love.
And yet I am still me (yeah love has opened my eyes to wonder and truth, but I’m still a bit on the clumsy side - funnily enough it's just as well, mistakes breed evolution, plus it's fucking funny, and humour is the highest form of expression).
I'm still me, and the good thing about me is I have always loved to simplify and share. And when I throw a party everyone is invited. Even the spiders.
So let me hand you a mental tool which you may use as you wish. I will fashion it now in your mind with technology more precise and refined at carving out instruments than scientists could ever dream to craft. With words and imagination I will give you a neat gadget to play with in your universe. The one you are lord and master of. The one in your head.
Deep trust I call it. I trust Phil. I trust him with the whole of my heart. And what’s more I trust myself with the whole of his heart. I will never knowingly hurt him. He has complete acceptance in me. Go forth and be yourself you fine man.
But I now also have a Deep trust in the unfolding of the world. So whenever I feel threatened or nervous I remind myself of deep trust and I let go. I untie myself from the future and allow the present. Which means I’m not then adding any further agitated unpleasantness to the mix of whatever is happening. Or at least not much. I ain’t perfect.
What does God want from us? If God there be. Same as any child. See me, hear me, love me, understand me, grant me the freedom to be myself, play with me, let me go, let me return.
If God is in all things – and I’ve been thinking about it and even True fucking Love is not enough evidence that God is real, you just can’t prove it empirically, not that I won’t keep teasing away at it - but if God is in all things then you best please God by living fully in the moment. Dancing with all that come before you and lifting any who come near.
And you already have everything you need. You’ve just got to admit that if you wanted to you could stop hiding it and start sharing it. What do you have? I don’t know. But if you fancy what might well prove to be an enlightening response from a loved-up lady. Get in touch. I’m here to play and to share with everyone. It’s the most natural impulse I have.
Maybe this is the start of a beautiful place where we can share our hopes and triumphs and all those times we have decided to be brave and go forth and get the shit kicked out of us by love.
You have the potential to know true love and walk true love, you just need to figure out what really fucking does it for you and ask for it.
Of course this ain’t news to everyone. But it was news to me. And now I want to share it. I can't not. Seriously, ask my work colleagues. Ask the random selection of the good people of Chelsea and Shoreditch whom I was scaring the shit out of on Monday.
I trust pain.
It brought me here.
Where all is forgiven and understood.
If there’s something you need, anything. Just ask for it with an open heart. Be sensible though. Cos you might just get what you ask for. And nobody actually wants the moon. Where would you put it?
x
P.S. Fucking loving listening to Station Approach by Elbow
I don't know what I want but I know when I'm low that I, I need to be in a town where they know what I'm like and don't mind.
Elbow - Station Approach (UTube)
And Dry the Rain by the Beta Band (that one off of High Fidelity)
If there's something inside that you want to say, let it all out it will be OK. I will be your light, I will be your light, I will be your light, I will be your light.
High Fidelity - scene with Beta Band song Dry the Rain (UTube)
xx
P.P.S If I've quoted either of the above entirely accurately I'd be really fucking surprised. But they're basically right. Them's the words scratched into my heart right now.
xxx
TP
So, I've been reading the blog of a friend recently, and just been blown away. How can anyone get that naked in public? That gloriously naked. No sucking in of the gut or anything. Hats off to you Noise.
http://myfailureatmodernliving.blogspot.com/
The great thing about this great big Universe of requirement that we live in is that every heartfelt question receives an answer. And now here I am.
Why am I getting naked all of a sudden? Read on.
08:59 Sunday 5th September 2010
The journalists of the world all got the headline wrong on Saturday morning.
I have some really awesome things to say which I’d like to share with people in general.
What, awesome like a hotdog?
It’s like a hundred billion hotdogs sir…
Intrigued? Of course you are you marvellous human. Read on. I will not disappoint. Unless you’re in the mood to be disappointed, in which case have fun ripping me about a little. X
Frankly, the biggest news story by a country mile on Saturday, was that on Friday a couple in Portsmouth proved unequivocally that True Love is real, and it’s fucking wonderful.
Lets have that again shall we.
True Love is real, and it’s better than Princess Bride (the film anyway, which is awesome, I’ve not read the book).
True Love is real.
Very nice. What’s that got to do with me I hear you think (very keen ear for a sour note me). Ah. Because I’m a sharer. And I’m a communicator. I am a scientist and a scholar. A philosopher and a muse. I’m also really keen at code words. Check me out.
The point is. I know it’s real now. And I can see how it must be different for everyone. I can see that your love will be a precise fit for you. Not you as you are now, but you as you will be as gradually the fear and defensiveness drop away, as you stop using all your energy to defend your image, and start afresh each moment in this world of infinite possibility and play. With a whole heart.
Aw, come back! Shall I calm it down a bit? All right then.
Love.
Imagine the possibility.
It’s not all about shagging. We’re not all here to pair up. Check out Oogway from Kung fu Panda. He unravelled the mysteries of harmony and focus. That’s a tasty bit of love right there. There he was, perpetually in the moment with his heart open and with all the fine balance of life revealed to him. But there was no Mrs Oogway to shine his shell.
He seemed groovy with it.
Let me tell you about my sister M. 28 years old and she figured this stuff out years ago. She fell in love with the world, and for her that was enough. And if you’ve ever met Michelle you will know precisely what I mean. She dances with everyone she meets and lifts all who come close. Including miserable head-sunk me on so so many occasions.
Personally, I need a Phil. And more than that I want a Phil. I want someone to play with. Fuck propriety. Together we will create a new world order. And best of all, it’s going to be laughably easy. All we have to do is play together, and keep going into the world to share our happiness with all the people we love.
And yet I am still me (yeah love has opened my eyes to wonder and truth, but I’m still a bit on the clumsy side - funnily enough it's just as well, mistakes breed evolution, plus it's fucking funny, and humour is the highest form of expression).
I'm still me, and the good thing about me is I have always loved to simplify and share. And when I throw a party everyone is invited. Even the spiders.
So let me hand you a mental tool which you may use as you wish. I will fashion it now in your mind with technology more precise and refined at carving out instruments than scientists could ever dream to craft. With words and imagination I will give you a neat gadget to play with in your universe. The one you are lord and master of. The one in your head.
Deep trust I call it. I trust Phil. I trust him with the whole of my heart. And what’s more I trust myself with the whole of his heart. I will never knowingly hurt him. He has complete acceptance in me. Go forth and be yourself you fine man.
But I now also have a Deep trust in the unfolding of the world. So whenever I feel threatened or nervous I remind myself of deep trust and I let go. I untie myself from the future and allow the present. Which means I’m not then adding any further agitated unpleasantness to the mix of whatever is happening. Or at least not much. I ain’t perfect.
What does God want from us? If God there be. Same as any child. See me, hear me, love me, understand me, grant me the freedom to be myself, play with me, let me go, let me return.
If God is in all things – and I’ve been thinking about it and even True fucking Love is not enough evidence that God is real, you just can’t prove it empirically, not that I won’t keep teasing away at it - but if God is in all things then you best please God by living fully in the moment. Dancing with all that come before you and lifting any who come near.
And you already have everything you need. You’ve just got to admit that if you wanted to you could stop hiding it and start sharing it. What do you have? I don’t know. But if you fancy what might well prove to be an enlightening response from a loved-up lady. Get in touch. I’m here to play and to share with everyone. It’s the most natural impulse I have.
Maybe this is the start of a beautiful place where we can share our hopes and triumphs and all those times we have decided to be brave and go forth and get the shit kicked out of us by love.
You have the potential to know true love and walk true love, you just need to figure out what really fucking does it for you and ask for it.
Of course this ain’t news to everyone. But it was news to me. And now I want to share it. I can't not. Seriously, ask my work colleagues. Ask the random selection of the good people of Chelsea and Shoreditch whom I was scaring the shit out of on Monday.
I trust pain.
It brought me here.
Where all is forgiven and understood.
If there’s something you need, anything. Just ask for it with an open heart. Be sensible though. Cos you might just get what you ask for. And nobody actually wants the moon. Where would you put it?
x
P.S. Fucking loving listening to Station Approach by Elbow
I don't know what I want but I know when I'm low that I, I need to be in a town where they know what I'm like and don't mind.
Elbow - Station Approach (UTube)
And Dry the Rain by the Beta Band (that one off of High Fidelity)
If there's something inside that you want to say, let it all out it will be OK. I will be your light, I will be your light, I will be your light, I will be your light.
High Fidelity - scene with Beta Band song Dry the Rain (UTube)
xx
P.P.S If I've quoted either of the above entirely accurately I'd be really fucking surprised. But they're basically right. Them's the words scratched into my heart right now.
xxx
TP
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